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about death

Talking about death

七月對我來說是有點煎熬的一個月,因為在這短短的一個月得知了兩位奶奶離開的消息,讓我在心裡對於死亡有了不一樣的想法,想問問大家對於死亡是什麼樣的一個概念呢?


人是一個富有豐富情感的動物,所以當在面對人離開的消息,往往不能接受,尤其是當那個人是你最愛家人。像是我自己外婆離開的消息來得太快、太意外,沒有時間做心理準備,所以我無法想要當媽媽得知消息的時候,會是怎麼樣的心情。

記得那天,我開著車帶著媽媽去新竹踏青,一切都看似很美好的午後,約莫在下午三點多時,我接到舅舅的告知電話,瞬間我無法想像媽媽的心情會是怎麼樣的。在第一時間內,我盡快帶著媽媽回外婆家後,才由爸爸說出口讓他知道。當下媽媽是震驚的,後來情緒整個湧上來,一度哭到無法跨出下一步,聽到他痛心的哭聲,我默默也紅了眼匡,那時我才知道心痛是什麼樣的感覺。

我認為每個人一生的起承轉合就是「生老病死」或許些許人會跳過老、病的過程,直接來到最後一步;所以我也很替他們感到開心,他們都完整的經歷過了這整個過程。

小時候我對死亡沒什麼概念,只知道:我要去參加他的喪禮。直到大學的時候,我才知道死亡是怎麼一回事。記得那時剛上大一,媽媽的朋友有位跟我依樣年紀的小孩,他因為騎車事故意外離開了 ; 後續到了大三時,有位同學也因為相同的原因離開了我們身邊。在得知的當下,我都有點不能接受,腦袋都在想著,我昨天不是才看到他嗎?怎麼今天突然不見了,去到了另外一個世界。瞬間我才領悟,原來死亡不是老人才會經歷的過程,而是他一直都在我們身邊。

July is a tough month of 2019 for me. Because I got some bad news of two grandmothers was died in this month, which I have different thoughts about death in my heart that I gonna share with you. 

First of all, I want to ask you ” What do you thinking about death?” For me, I think death is other way to live in other world and then we born in this world again. Here is the explanation of mystery thought, which death is a cycle in that great life marks an end, and every living being surely will face it. However human is an animal of an amount of emotions, which if you know your family was gone on this world, I believed that is the hardest thing you have to accept on that time.

I remember that day, I drove my mother to Hsinchu for buying something that she want to buy. Everything is seemed a normal weekend, but I got a call from my uncle that he told me grandma died at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, which I was very shake up by this incident. Therefore, I couldn’t imagine how my mother’s mood would be, once she know it.

At the first moment, I’m scared that she will feel devastated and had an emotional breakdown since she know it. So I didn’t tell her that incident until I took her back to my grandmother’s house as soon as possible and then my father told her that grandma was gone. The result is under my expectationThe result is as my expected that my mom was felt devastated.

I think that everyone’s life is ” born, old, sick and die”. Maybe some people will skip the old and sick process and go straight to the last step, which I am happy for grandmother that they have completely experienced this whole process.

When I was young, I didn’t have any idea about death, which I only knew that I was going to attend their funeral. Until in the university that I finally knew what is death. I remember that I was a freshman, my mother’s friend had a child who was as young as me that she died of a motorcycle accident. Also when I was a junior, one of my classmate left us for the same reason. At the moment I was a bit unacceptable, because my head was keep thinking ”I just saw her yesterday, why she just died in only one day?” Why they just suddenly disappear in this world. Therefore, I realized the death is not a process of the old person will experience, but it’s always with us.

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